Thank God I'm not from North Dakota

  1. I grew up on a farm in ND - $150k was used prices back in the 90s. Anyway, what I hate about this comparison is that they are comparing a luxury item to a depreciating business expense. It’s like comparing a factory to someone’s boat.

  2. Haha, this comment just sparked a memory for me! My dad grew up on a farm and when I was a young teenager I asked him, if a farmer picked up a newborn calf every single day from the day it was born, would he still be able to pick it up when it was a 1,000 pound bull?

  3. That’s after all the federal subsidies they get while simultaneously shouting about the “other ppl” on welfare

  4. Yeah, this whole thing was written like it’s from someone who has been in the state for two days and now suddenly has an accent and tells everyone “now that I’m a country boy...”. We had people like this back in Michigan too who would move to a town that was ever so slightly rural and suddenly they’d be obsessed with big trucks, country music, and flannel. Like, dude, you’re from flint, calm your tits.

  5. I will never understand people using poor cooking skills as a point of pride. Using something super exotic like mustard doesn’t make you part of the liberal elite.

  6. What kind of shitty ass chili is made with only salt, pepper, and ketchup as the only seasoning?! I live near Philly, not a place known for our chili, but I guarantee you what I make in my crock pot is better than whatever bullshit this North Dakota nutball chokes down at his monocultural, pasty-white, hick-town get-togethers.

  7. Well I googled "North Dakota Chili" and the first recipe does include ketchup, but it also has all the other spices you would expect in a chili.

  8. I can understand if salt and pepper's all the season the steak with, but then this loon adds in the ketchup and that's where they done fucked up.

  9. Also... how the fuck are they then complaining about other people's chili? If all you're seasoning chili with is salt and pepper (or ketchup I guess) it's probably pretty fucking bad.

  10. Conveniently ignoring the love for ranch in North Dakota. I’ve lived here my whole life. Mfers will put ranch in/on anything. I’m absolutely positive at least one North Dakotan has used it for lube

  11. That is standard for these types of people it’s weird. “I’ll love any stranger like a brother…but if a liberal comes around they’re getting SHOT”

  12. We are a territory that calls itself a state even though major cities in the east have more people than our entire population. We have two senators just like California and other real states but have more cows than people.

  13. Over a 4 point buck. that's nothing to brag about or write home about. Here people will yell at you for shooting bucks that young.

  14. There's so many insane combinations here. Who leaves their phone on or have the ringer turned up hunting in this scenario and has that ever happened? Who's driving up to the rancher to tell him to wash his cows because of the smell? If you're driving past someone, how would they have enough time to complain that you're waving? I'll bet most of those "pick ups" are King Ranch and anything older than an '85 isn't because they want to be driving it.

  15. Having grown up in a rural community a lot of the famed rural friendliness only applies if you talk like them, act like them, and look like them. As soon as you start pushing back against dumb shit or act outside the norm you get marked as different and people all around town start talking about you behind your back.

  16. The saying that I've seen before (usually applied to the North vs. the South but we can modify it a bit to fit here) is that people from the BiG fAnCy CiTy are kind but not nice, and people from GoD's cOuNtRy are nice but not kind.

  17. What are you talking about? The friendliest thing someone can do for you upon finding out you're in North Dakota is putting you out of your misery.

  18. I live on a dirt road in California. Driving too fast will destroy your shocks and struts. You can also bottom out in the wrong section, going too fast is stupid.

  19. That was my first thought reading that. “Out here we destroy our cars because we’re impatient.”

  20. Ohh so that's why I always see the lifted brodozers crawl over the tiniest parking lot speed bumps at 0.1 km/h, their shock absorbers can't actually handle bumps

  21. Given the massive firehose of subsidies that pull money from the productive cities to prop up their rural lifestyles, they should be insecure.

  22. The divide has always been more rural vs urban than region vs region. Southern, midwestern, and northeastern cities share a lot in common. Southern, midwestern, and northeastern countrysides share a lot in common.

  23. It's like they're a caricature of us. We in the South open doors for anyone who comes behind and know a bit more about cookin than three damn spices. I can't imagine what their cornbread tastes like...I bet it's like a damn cake.

  24. Being super fucking condescending to anybody who's even a tiny bit different from you = friendliness? Well fuck I've been doing it wrong this whole time lol

  25. It's funny, city people tend to have the reputation of being smug, but holy shit I've never read anything more clearly written by someone who loves the smell of their own shit than this. I don't think the author has ever genuinely been friendly to a stranger in their life.

  26. $150,000 combines?! HAHAHAHA, terrible flex. Combines are well over half a million these days and have been for a while.

  27. This, along with a few other bits, made me think this is very very old copy pasta. Pretty sure my grandfather received this is a chain email in 2002.

  28. Great question. I suppose it’s an imaginary boogeyman that their bigotry told them is the real threat.

  29. The cashier at the supermarket said ‘no problem’ instead of ‘thank you for everything since the beginning of time’ and whatever boomer authored this needed to establish boundaries with the legions of people who they feel don’t fully respect this fantasy world

  30. People from places like this are desperately bored and trying to convince themselves their lives aren't as empty as people on the coasts who, surprise, also have access to doors to leave their homes and go outside.

  31. You couldn't be more right, it was already mind bogglingly straw-man-ish, and then the line about cocaine?

  32. I've lived in South Dakota, which is close enough to the subject to know that this stupid post was originally written about somewhere else. It has a distinctly Southern flavor. They don't eat cornbread or chili in the Dakotas, for one thing, and they don't say taters. Seen the movie Fargo? They talk something like that. Somebody subsituted "North Dakota" for the original "Oklahoma" or someplace, then threw in the part about snow and revised the interstate numbers to fit.

  33. This makes so much more sense. It's pretty hilarious that someone thought "you know who I consider the toughest Americans... those people in ND. Let me project my overcompensated masculinity into those people!"

  34. I'm positive that I would be sent to Thanksgiving with the person's family. No real seasoning allowed. 😭😭😭

  35. As a person in Montana, who also has a big batch of chili in the crockpot that was started 12 hours ago, youll be happy to know that it has a pleasant blend of 15 spices,mixed with some broth/beer, that shall be enjoyed in another 4 hours.

  36. I got a chuckle at the sushi and caviar thing because me and my wife live in western Minnesota and we have to drive to Fargo to get sushi.

  37. Yeah Fargo had evolved past some of this luckily. When I grew up it was the same bland nonsense as the rest of the state, but there's some really good food there now.

  38. My partner's from Minnesota, went back for the summer and his biggest complaint was the lack of good restaurants anywhere but the twin cities, lol.

  39. He also acts like it's some sort of foreign concept. I know of and have driven on dirt roads in a major city, fuck out of here

  40. Probably "unpaved road", but I only ever here people say "dirt road" anyway. What's the point of pride in it anyway? Like who gives a fuck if you say unpaved, or dirt?

  41. Just the concept that nobody smokes weed in rural North Dakota had me dying for a second. I bet the dude that wrote this has a fuckin joint rolled. Any extreme cold weather state is full of people who smoke weed.

  42. They think waving and acting friendly to "their kind" makes them friendly...it's like the domestic terrorist fascists thinking they are patriotic Americans by screaming "we are patriotic Americans" and flying a overcompensating number of flags...then doing all the least patriotic things they can.

  43. The absolute gall of someone to claim they have a monopoly on "real chili" when they freely admit in the same breath that they only have 3 seasonings - salt pepper and ketchup.

  44. is it the obviously condescending "pull your pants up" line? Ignorant in multiple ways, for one its not the 90s anymore and you're in North Dakota! There can't be any more than one person doing that in the whole state.

  45. I've never met anyone who graduated out of college as more religious than when they came in. UND and NDSU aren't exactly instilling the fear of god in anyone.

  46. To be fair, one of my North Dakota cousins makes an amazing knock your socks off chili. She adds a dash of ghost peppers to “jazz things up”.

  47. They don't know any better and have been raised to fear any other people's culture. So therefore, they aren't cultured. I actually pity them.

  48. "Yeah, we're judgmental, basic, and belligerent to anyone who dares to use garlic in our presence, but we wave to each other because we're friendly! Also, no blacks!"

  49. Imagine being so fragile that somebody else's seasoning choices offend you on a personal level. But hey.... we east coast liberals are the real snowflakes, amirite?

  50. Been to North Dakota, enjoyed my time there and the people. Most of this list is just the angry pissy rant of a small minded person who doesn't like things that are different

  51. These bumpkins don’t worship any God, they worship themselves. They create God in their own craven images and a turn a 2,000 year old biblical figure into an abusive truck driving beer swilling deer hunting bumfuck leech just like themselves.

  52. I also love how he’s imagining a scenario where some yuppie’s cell phone busts his chance to bag a fork buck. Taking a four pointer isn’t even legal in the part of PA I’m from.

  53. I doubt you're very likely to encounter anyone in North Dakota who would share this post. Seems like the type of person who stays home and makes up people to be outraged with lol

  54. I always try to imagine the self-righteousness of the people who write these and it’s always beyond my comprehension. The best part is inevitably this person will post about not being like other people or celebrating their own contrarianism and then will be like “everybody else better be this way or get out”

  55. I’ve seen the same shit applied to at least 10 different states, with nothing more than a changing of minor details. I despair of ever seeing the day where people realize that southern does not automatically equal stupid, inbred, racist, unsophisticated… Plenty more words we could put here, but you get the point. I’m glad some of us country folk still know how to avoid being on lists like these. Although… I do have to admit to knowing several people who would be willing to adopt this as their new list of biblical commandments.

  56. A few thoughts: salt pepper and ketchup only? Must be the worst chili EVER. No mention of fleischkuekle, pickled or canned anything, pfeffernüsse cookies, what you store in the cellar, outworking your 3 closest neighbors at 72, or the local Lutheran potluck. Nothing about your parents or grandparents working the mines or their own career at the plant or that time so and so went to the Betty. This poster is a poser. Never met a family sprung from German or Norwegian immigrants in their life. This whole post is a disservice to North Dakota.

  57. Ope, that doesn't seem too friendly neighbor. There's a reason why North Dakota's a drive through state

  58. I lived in Hettinger North Dakota for 4 years. These are all true statements. From the waving to them telling you to wear your hat straight. All fucking true. They should have added that the local sheriff will harass your ass if your new in town as well.

  59. Trying to understand the concept of "we're friendly", but having a list devoted to shitting on anyone not from there that includes threatening assault with a deadly weapon and possibly murder????

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