meirl

  1. Not a fan of the grotesque cat calls, but some nicer ones such as; “marry me today, and divorce me tomorrow,” are quite memorable in a good way.

  2. Just a couple weeks after meeting my (now) wife, her gay BFF made a lewd but positive comment about my ass when I bent down. 17 years later, I still hold onto that moment lol

  3. I still remember when a gorgeous random girl told me a had a nice t-shirt. It makes me smile to this day and that was like 25 years ago.

  4. One of the moments of purest joy I've ever had was being told by my celebrity crush (who I met at comic con) that she really liked my t-shirt. I think the dopamine flood I experienced kept me on cloud 9 for about a month after

  5. I remember a man telling me I had a nice shirt for a job interview, I'm not even gay and I hold on to that

  6. Once I was wearing a t-shirt that said “Recovering Catholic” on it on campus. I was going from class to class when a guy grabbed me and said, “That’s hilarious! There’s so many of us!”

  7. genuinely though, me as a guy, i never get compliments, ever. but this one time a chick said my sweater was cool and i can remember it years later

  8. I am pretty sure women are quite happy to receive genuine, well-meaning compliments as well, it's the aggressive nature of catcalling and the fact that actual nice people typically aren't doing it that makes it a problem, and also unlikely to be done in quite the same way by women towards men. If guys shouted "Hey, you're looking really pretty today, that's a nice t shirt" at women from building sites I feel like it wouldn't be so much of a problem (maybe I am wrong, not a woman).

  9. I asked my wife if my hair looked dumb and she responded that I always have great hair. I'm 41 and my wife of 3 years complimented my hair. No one has ever done that and I'll never forget it.

  10. Hah, last time I got complimented, which was something around four years ago, it was from an assistant at the docs who told me "I like your shirt. I like weird things." Internally, I was just like, you know what? Thanks. I'll take it.

  11. Key word is “gorgeous” lol, I’m an average looking woman and feel like I would just come off as weird or something idk, might just be insecurity talking

  12. One of my happiest moments was when I was on a holiday in America a couple of weeks back, and in a random theme park, some random kid came up to me and told me ‘nice shirt!’ I still brag about it to this day

  13. Had a RuneScape t-shirt on me once. A random dude at burger king wanted to take a photo of me because he loved the shirt. Will never ever forget.

  14. I went to school yesterday with a buzz cut because my barber made a mistake. I felt like I looked like a fool. Two guys told me my new haircut looked fresh and no I like it too.

  15. The girl at the coffee shop told me I smell amazing. I was wearing sports deodorant. I didn't smell amazing.. I couldn't have....

  16. Two separate girls told me I smelled good at work in one day, considering I thought I smelled a bit sweaty I was intrigued by what they were smelling

  17. Once a girl I was interested in in college said I had really nice teeth. Never felt so conscious of my teeth before. I don’t have rotten teeth or anything, just normal teeth, and definitely not amazing teeth, I drink a ton of coffee so they are probably even stained.

  18. It's because of the difference in how men and women are treated, women are used to being showered in compliments by anyone close to them and doing that back, when someone outside that bubble of familiarity does it, it feels creepy like they are overstepping and being too familiar with them, for us guys we get nothing, from no one other than the occasional back handed comment of "he's handsome" which is used as a sort of consolation compliment towards ugly people as well so it's meaningless, so if a random person or anyone really tells us we look nice, we smell nice or anything like that it's like the light of our life as weve effectively just been validated to what we hoped was true about ourselves

  19. At 14 a cashier said they liked my shirt. I kept that shirt for at least ten years, even though I quickly grew out of it. I donated it so hopefully it's helping out someone else. It's been about another ten years and here I am talking about it.

  20. A girl told me that I had beautiful teeths when I was 14 years old. I have never forgotten that. I am 35 years old and I still remember where I was standing and where she was standing when she said it. Yesterday the cashier saw me buy toothpasteand cakes and jokingly said: "You eat the cake first and then use the toothpaste" and then said "But you have so beautiful teeth that you dont need it". So in 21 years I will probably write a comment like this remembering the two times someone complimented my teeth.

  21. I once lectured a student about something for five minutes. When I had finished he said "you have nice looking teeth". Not sure if he was being sarcastic, but I still remember it 15 years later. (I have a massive head, so I have never had trouble with my teeth other than cavities. They are all straight and in the right place).

  22. That's not cat calling though. You were complimented by someone in a non threatening way. I've had men compliment my outfit in public (which I appreciate!) but I've had considerably more men shout sexually explicit and humiliating things at me, I've had men drive slowly next to me while I walk on the pavement in my SCHOOL UNIFORM..I could go on.

  23. Nah the difference is you didn't feel remotely threatened in that situation. Imagine instead that at 14 years old a 6'6 massive dude said that he liked your arse.

  24. Being catcalled as a girl is different because unless you're an Olympic athlete and they're average men that don't work out much they could easily overpower you.

  25. if you had a penny for every time someone complimented your teeth you'd have two pennies. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.

  26. I will also never forget how one time I was sitting in a train and the guy in front of me also told me I had a beautiful smile and very nice teeth. I was so flattered but then he started to talk about how he works for a dental insurance company and that I should be insured under at his company and what kind of special treatments they cover for teeth and yeah... just wanted to shit to me.

  27. It really is sad how few compliments men get. I try to compliment the guys in my life as much as I can. I used to compliment male strangers in passing, but one became a violent stalker (I had told him I thought his shirt was cool) so I can't bring myself to do that anymore.

  28. Cat calling and compliments are different. Examples Catcalling: nice ass. Wanna come home with me sexy, what’s that mouth do, nice tits This all accompanied with whistling, driving up to you real slowly while you’re walking, groups of men typically, just general creepiness

  29. About 30 years ago a new mate came round to my crappy bedsit for a 'smoke' after we'd been out for some beers with out mates. He looked through my CD collection while I rolled a joint and said, 'Great tunes here, man.' Still one of the best compliments I've ever got. Note to Reddit: Not a gay encounter; was best man at his wedding a few years later.

  30. I was wearing my new leather jacket and ray bans and walking with a friend when I was about 19 and a very cute girl looked at us and said to her friend "they're hot" and we were the only dudes in the vicinity so she couldn't have been talking about anyone else. I still remember it years later. Confidence boost of a lifetime

  31. Somebody once said I had nice eyes, about 7 years ago. That’s the last compliment I remember and I’m married. My daughter however did say I was very strong last week when I opened a jar so that made me cry uncontrollably for an hour.

  32. My experience as a girl Cat calling can either be the most terrifying moment like I feel my organs moving away from their spots. But Im not gonna lie and say there havent been funny cat callers. This drunk guy said “Hey girl, I know ur thinking whos this white guy but Im actually European” and I had to speed walk so fast somewhere safer just to laugh

  33. When I was 20, I went back to my summer apartment at the end of the day from my internship job. I park my car, get out, and hear "oooooooo white boy, gimme that dick!"

  34. Once a guy hit my shoulder with a wine bottle (lightly) before saying “gothy on a bench looking hench” and it’s stuck with me for years in terms of pure wtf haha

  35. I also hate being catcalled but I had a funny one in Rome a few years back. I had dyed pink hair at the time and a guy leaned out of a passing car’s passenger window and yelled frantically in heavily accented English as he was whisked away ‘The colour of your hair - I don’t understand it very weeeeelll’ 😆 Never worked out whether it was intended as a compliment or an insult but it cracked me up

  36. Nit a cat call but a guy from the UK told me, an American, that something about me looks 'distinctly European ' and he's surprised every time I speak with a US accent. I'm still not sure if it's a compliment but I think about it a lot.

  37. I think the fact that in most cases women are no real physical threat to men is a big factor. When I've been catcalled in the past, its sometimes ended at that but was sometimes a precursor to some creepy guy twice my height and weight following me down the street trying to get something for me.

  38. I think it’s less about men not receiving compliments than it is about women not being a physical threat to men. The entire tone of a “catcall” changes when the person doing the catcalling is a physical threat.

  39. I take issue with the “same reality” part. The man in the screenshot was never in danger of being gang raped. When a woman is cat called by a group of men, there’s a massive power imbalance there which induces anxiety (at the very least.)

  40. One thing I've told my husband, and he agrees with, is that men don't perceive women cat calling as a threat to them sexually, whereas women definitely see strange men cat calling as a threat sexually.

  41. It’s probably because women are less threatening to men as men are to women. If a woman rejects a man’s advances and catcalls, he can become violent and attack her physically. Whereas, if a man rejects a woman’s advances she is much less likely to be violent towards him, and even if she does it’s much less threatening. Women also don’t catcall nearly as much (or in the same way) as men do because of the fact that it’s not about complimenting, it’s about the power dynamic. Men feel powerful over women when they do it because it’s intimidating and objectifying.

  42. Boys don't grow up getting catcalled and harrassed from age 12 or so by older creeps. If they did, perhaps men would be more like women in feeling totally over it by the time they reach maturity, and would feel belittled and irritated by it rather than complimented.

  43. Everybody assumes it's a compliment. Some people don't have to live in fear of rape and assault and don't deal with constant sexual harassment, so catcalling doesn't represent anything negative.

  44. Yeah exactly. I wonder what her husband would think if he got catcalled by 3 huge gay dudes on an empty street at night? Not so fun anymore right?

  45. I also notice that men here are comparing catcalling to genuine compliments, which are not at all the same. People say really vile things when catcalling, I don't get offended by genuine compliments about my clothes or eyes or whatever else. Men just have a very skewed idea of catcalling.

  46. Men think they would be cat called by someone they find attractive. Imagine catcalling from a man twice ur size, age, and strength, who might also attack you if you react the wrong way. Now you know how we feel.

  47. Yes, genuine compliments are good no matter who receives them. However, lots of women will respond differently to most men because they’re used to being valued primarily as aesthetic objects by strangers, and people complimenting them because they want something from them, which is rarer for men.

  48. Catcalling and complimenting ain't the same thing. The dudes catcalling are doing it because they can, not because they actually deep in their hearts want women to feel nice about themselves.

  49. I feel like many people don’t understand this. Catcalling is just scary and compliments are not

  50. Yeah, the equivalent would be to get a bunch of really tall and buff dudes to wait in a dark alley to catcall him. Being catcalled in broad daylight on a decently populated street is annoying but not that terrifying, being catcalled at night, in a dingy area with no other people around definetly makes you fear for your safety.

  51. There is a chalk artist in NY that writes out actual catcalls women have received. A lot of them are gross or threatening, not complimentary in any way.

  52. If you want to know why it’s so fucked consider this. I was cat called the most from the ages of 14 to 16. By adult men. My experience is NOT unique. It’s about some sick power trip not a compliment.

  53. The scariest experience for me is when someone catcalled me and then clocked me a few minutes later. And shouted something unintelligible

  54. Yea exactly! Catcalling and compliments are just so different. I (33F) compliment other women constantly on their fashion choices. Like maybe their shoes or their dress or their entire look. They always seem so surprised and then pleased. The most heartfelt compliments are from the elderly who stop to tell you they like your outfit. Day instantly made.

  55. Ah but her husband is already an adult. No way to replicate the amazing feeling of being 13 and having an old 50 yo ugly dude look at you in the eye and say "imma do this to you hmmm" while while flicking his tongue between his index and middle finger. Gotta love the confidence boost /s

  56. The catcall it's self isn't scary. It's the idea that you might be overpowered if they act on it. Guys rarely have to fear that.

  57. broken concept, men aren't complimented on their looks as often and aren't physically threatened by women so of course it wouldn't upset him. many women have been objectified by strange scary men in public since they became teenagers or even earlier so that discomfort sets in. i find it very stupid when men say Oh But I'd Love a Compliment Lol because of course, you didn't grow up with this and are far less likely to be assualted in that way. (yes i know this post is about a 'prank' i'm just making a point in general for people reading the comments).

  58. I had to goggle the catcalling and it seems that people here don't know what it really means. "Nice shirt" is not catcalling apparently, but those weird people trying to hook you on with some sexually driven texts are.

  59. Men only say that because most of them are not getting cat called at all. We also would be annoyed if we did every day by some creepy woman.

  60. Men also do not have to worry about upsetting a creepy catcaller and getting overpowered and raped. Don't have to fear for your life, don't have to fear getting pregnant by your rapist. It's frankly annoying to see guys say that they want to be catcalled like women are, because no, you absolutely do not.

  61. The variable is the danger presented by the caller. A man catcalling a woman presents a possible physical threat to her, it doesn't typically apply the other way around.

  62. This is the nuance that conveniently gets left out from all similar post. How people can't detect this false equivalence is beyond me.

  63. That is probably the reason. I am a short and small man and I feel extremely uncomfortable when someone who is jacked and tall compliments me. Did not happen often, but when it does: it’s not a nice feeling

  64. Exactly. If she wanted to really run this experiment, she should have got some physically imposing man to catcall him while making it clear c if he didn’t reciprocate interest he’d be in danger of being raped.

  65. I also feel like many men who could be classified as serial-catcallers deliberately do so to intimidate women. you can get catcalled by men that actually don't find you attractive. to them it's just a means of asserting dominance.

  66. The difference is when women get catcalled, women feel attacked because it’s not safe. Some men results to violence in those situations if their catcall was ignored.

  67. They didn’t say “yo ass so nice we’re gonna rape you in the bushes” then, like a group of men did when I was 14 walking home, or any of the violent stuff men say whole catcalling

  68. An innocent compliment on a tshirt isnt objectifying. Hey yo i like your dick in those shorts, is probably a more concerning thing to hear

  69. Depends what they said. Men don't realise that most cat-calling isn't compliments, it's vulgar propositions. And quite often if the woman doesn't respond, the men follow or become aggressive from being ignored.

  70. Well the thing is that her husband is a grown man. Maybe if he started getting the catcalls when he was, say, 13 years old and getting whistled and hollered at by a much older, larger woman, he wouldn’t have liked that so much. And instead of giving compliments, they said something so vulgar his young, inexperienced brain didn’t even fully understand it. And then years later even as an adult, someone “complimenting” him while hanging out of their car window would take him back to those moments as a kid of feeling so weak and vulnerable and unsafe, that he didn’t even feel comfortable walking around his own neighborhood. Maybe then he’d understand why it doesn’t feel like a compliment.

  71. For this to work you’d have to get men to catcall him. Men that are bigger than him and he’d have to be in a situation where he has no power.

  72. I can say as a young gay man, it’s very different getting a compliment from a woman or a cute boy than from a creepy old man.

  73. Should've gotten a bunch of men bearing weapons saying his butthole needs tearing, that's about the equivalent of how it feels for most women

  74. Went with a friend to a gay bar to support him coming out and not gonna lie, I enjoyed all the free drinks all night. The difference between men and woman getting cat called is alot of times woman getting cat called leads to aggressive behavior from men. So I get why woman get scared or uncomfortable with it. Its simple, just dont do it.

  75. There's a general trend in the way men and women view sexual attention. I remember reading an article written by a woman who got tired of getting random dick-pics from guys and decided to randomly send pictures of her vagina to guys to "see how they like it" - spoilers, they did.

  76. Catcalling and compliments are not one in the same. Most women start getting cat called around 10-13 yrs old by GROWN MEN. Saying nice tits, or what that pussy feel like is not a compliment. And maybe it’s not to explicitly a threat but it’s def intended to be uncomfortable and make the person worry about what they’ll do next.

  77. As a guy, it probably would’ve still boosted my ego. Positive attention from anyone is perceived in my stupid brain as core memories.

  78. No way you cannot differentiate between "nice ass" and "you look very well put together today". I mean come on. Edit: meaning you in a broad sense.

  79. There's a big difference between being cat called every day as opposed to only one time ever. Also, power dynamics play a part in it too. Men know women won't victimize them so a cat call feels pretty non threatening.

  80. There’s also a difference between a compliment and a vulgar catcall…. A lot of men don’t realize most catcalls are not respectful. They can be gross and really sexual and uncomfortable. Cat callers even follow you sometimes which is really really scary

  81. In high school, one of the popular chicks told me that the flannel I wore every other day made me look "sexy as hell".

  82. So, if a man gets cat called he can see it as a compliment because the chances of the woman following him home and raping and murdering him are basically zilch. There are real consequences for women who turn down men's advances, and they range from unpleasant name calling to being raped and murdered, and they happen so often they are statistics. I hope everyone understands that that is the undertone that women are working from when they say they don't want to be cat called. It's not like women don't like compliments, it's that compliments from strangers bring up real fear and cautiousness.

  83. It’s a power dynamic thing innit, your cat scratches you and it’s a bit annoying or endearing depending on your view point, if a lion does the same it’s fucking terrifying

  84. Honestly we get so few that when it happens it feels great. It is mens fault though that we dont because if a women says hey your arms are looking good, we hear i want to fuck you. Even though she just meant good job on your arm workouts.

  85. She did the whole thing wrong. First, make him 9-12 years old again so he will imprint the memory if it as a literal child. Then, make sure a few of them are threats so that it can actually be a REAL comparison. And above all, the people catcalling him need to be driving by in a car and at least 60 percent stronger than him. If you want the comparison to get really specific (so comparable to about a quarter of all women) make sure he was sexually abused at some point. He's had it far too good to understand the connection between a superior strength class of humankind constantly targeting him for a cheap sexual thrill.

  86. Women are drowning in the ocean, men are parched in the desert. Both are awful to be in and create a massive gulf of empathy for both sides.

  87. Yeah, both extremes are not good at all. Generally women also feel unsafe due to physical/aggression differences, so they don’t need to hear a man shout these things her way, especially if she is alone. Men rarely get compliments, especially on appearance, so it must get depressing.

  88. Over the past 3 months I’ve been told I have a nice shirt 3 times (2 shirts that looks similar). I wear those shirts as much as I can now, lol. I will always remember those compliments

  89. It's a matter of exposure. For most women it happens so frequently that it's annoying and upsetting, but most guys are so starved for positive attention that it's a wonderful surprise.

  90. Ya, but a man being cat called isn't nearly as threatening as a woman being cat called because women are likely being catcalled by someone a foot taller and 60 lbs heavier.

  91. I had this dude in the grade above me say that my eyes were really pretty. Never forgot that. Also had this girl at work say she would kill for my eyelashes. We only get a handful of compliments in our lives so we remember them.

  92. But did the girls start following him when he didn’t respond? Did they get nasty and start saying cruder and more vile things to get a reaction? Did anyone try to follow him home?

  93. A little over 10 years ago a super pretty girl said I have wonderful eyelashes. I think about this daily, and mourn every eyelash that I lose.

  94. I’ve been cat called before a few times. The latest time was at the airport. A woman literally whistled to catch my attention and when I looked in her direction she followed with “ouuuu daddy come here, let me talk to you for a minute”. Thinking back on it now I find it almost hilarious.

  95. It is because when a woman compliments, it is a honest compliment, and usually when a man compliments it has second intentions. Man can compliment without being creepy, but it doesn't happen in most cases.

  96. Men rarely get complimented, so we appreciate these moments. I still remember a specific moment while dating a girl in college years ago. We had been together for a while at this point, so there really was no need for jealousy at all. We were walking to get food when she held my hand and kind of wrapped herself around my arm. This wasn’t abnormal, but it was done quickly and out of the blue. I jokingly asked “what’s that for”, and she told me that a girl walking past us was staring at me and did a double take after we walked by. It’s been nearly 13ish years and I still can’t get over the fact that some girl did that on the campus. That’s a confidence booster right there.

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