Say the NFL comes up with a new rule that each team must add a thematic feature to their stadium to match Tampa Bay's pirate ship. What does each team add?

  1. Actually, looks like the new feature in the Broncos stadium will be...a Walmart, maybe one with a McDonalds.

  2. Big ol’ giant bird’s nest with egg chairs people can sit in. Some point midway through the season the whole thing collapses and all the fans fall into a Pit of Despair below.

  3. This reminds me of an argument I had with friends back at the peak of Devin Hester: could he score from the opposite goal line with no blockers if the only defender was a bear at midfield.

  4. Before each possession, the opponent's ball, and only the opponent's ball, is dipped in Portillo's juice.

  5. Can’t we just move Big Tex to inside our stadium instead. And it won’t be big tex. It will be Big Jerry with a cowboy hat and a bottle of JWB

  6. Every Charger fan gets a complimentary taser. They all use them after a touchdown. Or in the parking lot after the game

  7. How about we replace the sides of the uprights with Tesla coils that make an electricity beam thing between them? And if the kicker kicks the ball in to the electricity and the beam vaporizes it, the entire stadium goes wild?

  8. Once again, the O line fleeting, The quarterback takes a beating, Defensive players eyeing hungrily the wild pass upon the end zone door.

  9. A gigantic pendulum hanging from the center of the ceiling that swings between the endzones just over head height.

  10. I was thinking Hitchcockian corvids centred on the opposition benches, but obviously I'm not familiar enough with how fucked up Poe could be.

  11. It would be cool to put a giant tank in the back of one of the end zones and you can keep a dolphin in it. Then name it snowflake and teach it kick field goals

  12. Giant glass field with the aquarium underneath? Imagine trying to play football with sharks and shit swimming around underneath you

  13. The raiders have the Al Davis torch at allegiant stadium now. But when the raiders and chargers were trying to build a stadium together in Carson California. That same concept of the torch was gonna be in the stadium. But it was gonna shoot lighting bolts for the chargers games. Not sure what it was gonna be for the raiders if anything. Or if they took the chargers idea and brought it to Allegiant to make it into the torch.

  14. They had an Al torch at the coliseum pre-move, and it was actual flames instead of a light-up flame. Wasn't as big though.

  15. i think they should install a horse track around the field and just run horse races constantly during the game

  16. I was going to say MCDC gets his wish of a full grown lion on a big ass chain just walking around Ford Field

  17. A tank of fish that actual Osprey aka Seahawks are released upon to swoop down and pluck fish from after a touchdown is scored.

  18. Im surprised the Steelers dont have some giant bottle of heinz ketchup scoreboard or something along those lines lol

  19. Maybe keep the name, make it firefighter themed. The arrow becomes the shape of a firefighter hat, the whole axe-chop thing you do stays, since firefighters use axes, Andy is still big red, but like, a fire truck. And also, Andy poses for all 12 months of a fireman’s calendar.

  20. Not gonna lie, a huge eagle's nest with a giant, animatronic eagle that screeches and has glowing red eyes would be pretty cool.

  21. We already have a Vikings ship in front of the stadium, a giant gjallarhorn inside, and this last year they added snowmachines to make it snow indoors during games.

  22. Vikasaurus Rex used to drag an effigy of Favre behind his four wheeler in the early 00s. Something that I doubt would fly in this era.

  23. A functional ford motor factory plant with do-it-yourself manual labor (it's part of the experience)

  24. I think we should up the ante. Turn the entire Raymond James Stadium into a Titanic-sized boat. Flood Tampa Bay so the stadium floats. Get a giant laser mounted onto the outside of the stadium boat. Destroy Alderaan.

  25. I remember when Miami had an actual dolphin, he got stolen and then hired this pet detective guy to find it. Turned out it was someone high up in the police. Guess they thought it wasnt worth it again.

  26. The Giants errect a giant mechanical football player that looms over the entire stadium, watching over the players and fans like we might observe a group of insignificant ants...and maybe it breathes fire when they score a touchdown or something

  27. Washington will get a comically sized bucket like they used on Nickelodian for slimetime live. The stadiums restrooms will drain straight into the bucket. Every Washington turnover the bucket will dump on the fans in the section below. Fans purchasing tickets in that section must pay an extra surcharge for the privilege.

  28. Was reading recently about early Chinese Americans during the gold rush and how one dude made himself crazy wealthy by offering free laundry service to miners and collecting the gold dust out of the wash water.

  29. I would’ve guessed a giant pile of gold, but as this is more like if the prompt was about having the Buccaneers actually rape and murder people.

  30. I was thinking a giant mine shaft located by the opponents bench that random players could fall down and never be heard from again.

  31. There's a half-dug train tunnel somewhere, and every time the Niners score, it explodes and a bunch of fake workers' limbs go flying

  32. I have written many letters to Amy Adams Strunk requesting we replace T-Rac with a 100 foot tall mechanical Greek Titan that spits fire and steps indiscriminately throughout the sidelines. When it's not flamethrowing or crushing various people, it's screaming shit in Greek like"Καλά, ευχαριστώ", which means "I'm fine, thank you".

  33. This doesn't really count, but the Ravens did this thing once where they had some giant augmented reality raven appear on the jumbotron and fly down and land on top of the crossbar of the field goal post. The thing was massive like some kinda kaiju.

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