I did something my parents would have never done for me. 17F

  1. This is an automated message posted to all posts in this subreddit with some basic information about the group including (very importantly) rules. Why are you getting this message? Most people seem to not read the sidebar for information or the rules, so it is now being posted under all posts.

  2. Good luck to you in life. Don't let the hurt they've caused ruin your life. Make yourself a better person. Your parents don't define you. Don't let them.

  3. You do. It doesn't start off like a movie hero cutting through swarms of monsters but like a tiny step or decision to do the right thing for yourself. Soon one day you'll be making many tiny steps in your favor. That's how you persevere.

  4. I'm kinda jealous too, ever since I was a kid I wanted to become a vet. My Nmum told me I was too stupid to become one, I'm pretty sure it's too late to start now. Usually you have to start on these things when you're straight out of school.

  5. Aww, this is so touching! It’s great you persevered in your hobby despite of your unsupportive and toxic family! Only reading this just tells me how strong you are for going through all of that and still being your own person. ❤️

  6. You've made the biggest decision you could make in terms if your future mental health and happiness. You've decided to be the opposite of what hurt you instead of passing on the damage. That takes courage and compassion. You're going to be ok. The world is a better place because you're in it.

  7. Way to not only break the cycle, but also to have a beautiful human moment that will stay with all of you forever!

  8. I admire your strength and intelligence to be able to break the cycle at your age. It took me much longer than 17 years to be able to show the empathy you're able to express. I still struggle to express what I want to express because of my fear of failure and judgement.

  9. I kinda felt this way when my neice started playing volleyball and she was so good. I wanted to play volleyball in school, but I had never played a sport. I showed up for try outs but I didnt know I needed the health physical before I tried out. So the coach sent me away, not even a second glance. I was so glad my neice got to do what she wanted, and had her mothers support. All my parents did was work and I was on my own most of the time.

  10. I'm more than twice your age and I don't have half your courage. You are an amazing and strong person OP. You have inspired me to continue to pursue my dream of writing for a living - despite the voice of my narc parent in my head telling me my writing is garbage and I will never make it.

  11. Even in real life, with the best of parents, people will say things to try and tear you down. Use it as fuel. Keep going. You already believe in yourself. Keep going, don't stop. Work on your goals. Even if it takes a while, baby steps to your goal(s). Write down your goals. Later, watch. It does happen.

  12. That was a beautiful gesture telling them that. I think it’s also quite courageous. Due to our own trauma it can be difficult to do that, but you did. I’ve always believed that it’s easier to say something nasty than something nice. And it’s sad because sometimes that nice thing can really changed a person’s day or even life. Clearly they were working hard and for someone to recognize that had a wonderful impact on them.

  13. I teared up reading this. At least you got to attend classes. My mom never let me. Ever since I was a kid, I wanted to be a dancer. My mom would constantly make excuses like "I have a job and I'm too busy to take you to performances" or "the costumes are too expensive" (which is kinda... for the dance form I wanted to learn.... but it's nothing we couldn't afford). At some point... she even said "you don't have the necessary features of a dancer" and ignored me when I asked her what she meant. I was able to attend a couple of classes from a dance teacher at my school and the teacher was very impressed by my dedication. But wasn't able to continue for long. My mom even made fun of me in front of my relatives when I tried to learn from youtube. Edit: OP, I was overwhelmed by my emotions I forgot to mention that it was really amazing what you did for those dancers. Keep dancing. Keep being the beautiful person you are to people who need it . Much love ❤😊

  14. I almost cried just reading this. I know this feeling and was taught to be ashamed of it. It is not always easy to recognize beauty and passion when it's right in front of your face. I hope you don't ever forget that day.

  15. Becoming the person you've always needed is the best way to change this world for the better. Taking cruelty and turning it into kindness. Absolutely beautiful.

  16. The only way we can make headway against the negative forces in the world is for each of us to add as much positivity as we can. I had a friend who played classical music brilliantly, and practiced for hours as a child. Her parents always would complain about how she would never play show tunes/pop songs (they were "sick of listening" to classical music). It was devastating for her. These kinds of attitudes in our early years have a way of hanging on, and they can wake you up in the night, as you try one more time to go over them in such a way that they'll be made right.

  17. How many things we had aspirations for, could have beens, before Narc-doom descended on our little heads.

  18. My n uncle one time told me to stop playing the guitar because he didn't want to get a migraine. I feel your pain. I have gone mostly NC with my n aunt and n uncle, but occasionally I accidentally get in touch with them. I have stuff at their house, too, which means I have to go back before going totally NC. Ugh. I hate that feeling of dread you get from physically being around narcissists. It's like you can feel the joy being sucked out of the room.

  19. I can feel your pain.. Was not as bad for me, but I can still relate how it is when your family does not support your interests. My sister used to laugh/smirk at me whenever I showed interest in learning some new skill. I would get discouraged and slowly started believing I could never finish what I start learning..

  20. Yes, I still do. However I did have to quit that competitive team eventually. I was forced into lying to my coaches that I quit because I “couldn’t find time” to train.

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