They know literally nothing about us

  1. This is an automated message posted to ALL posts in this subreddit with some basic information about the group including (very importantly) rules. Why are you getting this message? Most people seem to not read the sidebar for information or the rules, so it is now being posted under all posts.

  2. I know. I am middle aged and my parents have no idea about very basic things about me. I have told them but they don't remember it so I guess it's not important to them.

  3. Yeah and they will sometimes go as far as saying to you that "you changed we don't even know who you are" " I don't even know who you are anymore" "your not the son/daughter I remember". Nope you never did care to get to know me.

  4. The example you gave is so triggering my parents do this all the time. I had a very traumatic incident with pasta with heavy tomatoe sauce, and then watermelon. Now I can’t eat the two foods because they have a metallic taste to me. My dad thinks I’m just faking it, and it was years ago and there is no way it should still affect me. Trust me, I tried eating these two things and I always get nauseated! And my mom will offer watermelons and push it on me for a few minutes before she says “oh yeah I forgot”.

  5. YESSSS. I hated raw onions and mother constantly fed them to me. Then after I had a baby I loved raw onions and mushrooms.... suddenly they were no longer in her meals 🤔

  6. I swear we came from the same family holy hell. Mine use to make pork chops all the time even after me telling them I physically cannot stand to eat them. “You used to love them what do you mean” or “you’re just being picky”. No, I’m not being picky I just dont like this specific food???

  7. Bro. This. So I am allergic to cinnamon. Makes my tongue and lips swell (not anaphylactic, but very uncomfortable). Even just the smell of it (or similar smells like all spice, pumpkin spice and gingerbread) makes me ill; headache, naseau, the whole nine yards. Now that I've been out of the house and in a different town for 7 years, I'm constantly having to remind them (especially around the holidays). The really fucked up part, though? When I was younger (teenager/high school) my Nmom would sneak it into my food to prove that I was lying about the allergy. Why would I lie about the allergy?? Obviously, I just wanted to stop her from enjoying it.

  8. My last interaction with my enabler mother was an email chain. I pointed out that last time we were in person she refused to let me speak and kept talking over me to tell me how much I needed Jesus. In that chain she explains how she was correct in not listening to me and a paragraph later complains it's my fault she doesn't know anything about me.

  9. I can always tell which gifts come from my bio mom and which gifts come from my stepdad. When he isn't infected with fleas he's amazingly thoughtful, gets me stuff I never even realized I wanted (like a full set of every McDonald's Neopets plush, this pristine My Little Pony Thermos from the 80's, an Ancestry DNA kit because I mentioned being into genealogy). My Mom, while I'm always so beyond grateful for anything, gets stuff like generic bath gift sets and clothes that are too small. It never feels personal and even as a little kid I noticed.

  10. My mom has not bought me a present that I would enjoy since I was a child/adolescent. And even then I only ever remember getting something I wanted when she was dating someone that listened to what I wanted so likely they had a lot of input with her to get me that particular gift. Now I get scented bath products (I only use unscented products), clothes a 60+ year old would wear (even when I was 25), hideous jewellery (I’ve never worn jewellery in my entire life). I just say thanks and immediately return it or donate it to a thrift store. I don’t even say anything anymore because she doesn’t listen/doesn’t care.

  11. Nonarcville sounds lovely. Some days I'm surprised to hear humans having love for eachother and showing basic empathy. I spent most of my life believing kindness is purely transactional. A male friend or the husband of a friend does me a favour? Without fail, narc family insist it's because he wants to get in my pants. Could not possibly be because he's simply showing kindness! Could not possibly be because I am a kind and worthy person who has genuine friends who care about her! If these narcs weren't so cruel and selfish, I'd feel sad for their obvious self-hatred but I just can't anymore after a lifetime of abuse.

  12. This is actually good advice for those of us who for whatever reason, can’t go NC physically. You basically go NC emotionally. I’ve been doing this for years. Thought about getting a tattoo that says “You don’t know me” for those times they try to decide what’s best for me. Idiots

  13. My dad used to give me a blank look when I would talk about art or video games, more of a “that’s nice, now back to what I was saying”. I remember one time for christmas he got us (brother and I) these dollar store flashlights, like yeah dad really appreciate a gift that isn’t oriented on your fascination with knives, but a little thought could go a long way. Anyways, I’m sorry you have to hide your real self from your parents, it definitely gets better once you leave!

  14. I hate this for you. I'm 26 now but when I was a teenager I once asked my ndad, "What's my favorite color?" he couldn't answer. I asked, "Who's my best friend?" He couldn't answer.

  15. My parents don’t even know I’ve had a bf for two years while living with them. Kind of hilarious. I will never share jack shit with them, if anything I’m sticking around for the free housing till I can save up enough for my own place. And yeah I owe them nothing, their retirement is on them. Or better yet they have three GCs to fall back on… bye bye

  16. Cheers to you! You don’t owe them ANYTHING, and you deserve peace. Congratulations on standing your ground ❤️

  17. I developed a penicillin allergy as an adult and she’s still my emergency contact for medical stuff. Multiple times I’ve quizzed her - Am I allergic to any medications? You know, something that is the likely to be one of the very first things they might ask in an emergency and she won’t remember!

  18. And they don’t care because what they think they do know (invented mostly) is all that is important about us. 0 fucks given.

  19. My mother knows that I taught them how to properly handle meat according to safety standards (???????????????) and random useless things that you can find out on Google. She doesn’t know my favorite color, music, type of clothing, what kind of stuff I hate (which is different from what I hated at 6, imagine that?) even my shoe size. She was constantly trying to force me into things she likes. We are VLC.

  20. Lmao my nfather doesn't know my own birthday NOR my age. He literally never gets it right. And I've been living under the same roof as him my whole life. And he's not a forgetful person, either.

  21. Same here. They have zero interest in anything about me. I try not to take it personal because, they don't reallycare about anyone except themselves.

  22. My MIL is exactly like this. She likes to tell me that she knows my husband better because she's "been around for 40 years, (I) haven't been around for 40 years and don't know everything" (NB I've been "around" for 19 years, 20 in January), but then doesn't know very basic things about DH (his favourite comedian, who on TV he can't stand, which way he has cream and jam on the scone, his favourite game to game to) and this is extending to our son. She bought our nearly 9 year old son a set of Where's Wally books for Christmas, there's nothing wrong with Where's Wally but he's never expressed an interest in them, he's not looked at them, even when I suggest we have a look.. But because she's had 2 boys, she knows what little boys like (he actually likes Diary of a Wimpy Kid and Upside Down Magic, she would know these things if she accepted that DH and I know DS better than she does.

  23. my mom doesn’t even know my birth date, the only stuff she knows about me is the stuff she can use against me. for example, when i was a child i was really really shy, and i grew out of it years ago but she still tries to tell me stuff like “u’ll never have friends if ur so asocial all the time” or putting me in situations small me would have considered very stressful and scary

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