Mom obsessed with my boyfriend and I having sex.

  1. This is an automated message posted to ALL posts in this subreddit with some basic information about the group including (very importantly) rules. Why are you getting this message? Most people seem to not read the sidebar for information or the rules, so it is now being posted under all posts.

  2. She wants you to have an accidental pregnancy so she can get the baby and maintain control over you and also her grandkids. She 100% wants you to get knocked up on accident.

  3. I have a kyleena its one of the IUDs and I really really like it. This is my second one they last 5 years and do hurt when getting placed but they are so worth it

  4. My mother did this too. At first, i spent most of my teenage years being constantly ridiculed for having perfectly normal sexual feelings which i then learned to hide or deny and then it graduated to awkward questions about sex once i was in a relationship.

  5. Yes if I was OP I would confront her as loudly and publicly as possible. This is disturbing behavior and it reminds me of when my mother would interrogate my brothers and I about ‘self-sinning’ (masturbating). One time she accused me of masturbating with my dad’s parrot’s perch and even got our pastor to question me about it.

  6. My mom was also obsessed with whether or not I was having sex. I developed such unhealthy attitudes about my sexuality that I was *crazy* promiscuous from high school until my late 20s.

  7. Mine did the same thing. I experimented with anal sex and she went through my stuff and found a butt plug. She got so weird and obsessed with it, and constantly talked about it and tried to shame me for it or tell me it was somehow weird or bad. I started getting annoyed by how obsessed and invasive it was around the time she brought it up to my school mental health counselor - who rightfully put her in place by saying that I'm perfectly normal and had obviously taken the time to educate myself on safe sex anal or otherwise (I was a very bookish teen and would always do a lot of research on stuff before I tried it lol). For this and so many other reasons I've been no contact for almost a year and I plan to keep it that way.

  8. Your mom wants another baby. She's actually hoping you get pregnant because she wants the glory of raising your child for you. It would make her look good, and give her another baby. I don't know exactly how manipulative your mom is, but be very careful that your birth control isn't tampered with. (Sorry to go there, but that would be my fear)

  9. That was my first thought too. Never leave your condoms anywhere she could get hold of them and tamper with them.

  10. Yuuup. My mother in law was obsessed with my daughter and continuously called her "my baby". She would literally emphasize that my child was actually hers.

  11. This is the first thing I thought! Be careful OP, it sounds like your Mom would be the type to poke holes in your condoms and force guilt you into giving birth and signing over custody of resulting oops baby.

  12. That is totally inappropriate. I am sorry that you cannot enjoy your sex life without your mother's sick insinuations. Narc mothers view their daughter's boyfriends as something or someone for themselves. They try to re-live their own youth by flirting, and acting seductively towards them.

  13. My alcoholic narc FIL called me hot in front of MIL and my husband. They shrugged it off because he already had a bottle of wine. Can't argue with the bottle apparently. It seems like he is comfortable being gross and even has said things that my husband is attractive because he used to be a catch (I've seen photos, he was not a catch. My husband somehow got every good gene).

  14. My stepdad did very similar things and encouraged me to leave my partner and slooth around to "learn more". Narcissistic people believe everything they do is perfect and expect, especially their children, to be as superior in all ways or sometimes better than them.

  15. Wow really? Why do they do that, it's so weird.. My mom's said stuff like that too and constantly asks if I'm seeing any men I like up at college. Like I have a boyfriend. I hung out with a guy friend alone in college, my boyfriend knows and I told my mom, and she immediately asked if I had a crush on him. Like no.. it's a friend. :I

  16. When I was in my twenties and dating my girlfriend for over a few years, my mother compared the fact that we were sexual to her (then well into her fifties) leaving my dad and going from man to man.

  17. “Men are like cars. You have to test drive a whole bunch to learn what you really like” -NM or there’s also “when I was your age I had a couple of boyfriends.” And proceeds to list all of the advantages of multiple partners who also have no idea that their girlfriend has other boyfriends? Ugh, this is the reason i specifically did the opposite of what she suggested/heavily hinted that I should do. Like have a boyfriend at home and a boyfriend or two at college and a few flings over the summer.

  18. My mother is kinda like this as well. I don't have a partner and don't plan to have one (And even if I did, I'm asexual, so that part wouldn't really happen even) but my mother constantly talks about sexual stuff, calls me and my sibling weird for not giving a shit and whenever I ask to sleep over at a friend's house she goes on a rant about people fucking. A coworker asked me and a few other guys to go to a vacation park (I am a trans guy, my mother refuses to accept me so if I talk to any guy she doesn't shut up anymore) all these guys have a girlfriend and most of them see me as "Not a girl" (I've not come out but it's very obvious based on my appearance and behaviour and the fact that I refuse to use gendered language for myself) so none of them think twice about it, but I told this to my mother and she goes on a rant about how she knows how that goes and it'll become a fuck party, and then she also added silently that it might be better that way that I'm finally not a virgin anymore...

  19. Watch out, when you do have children she will most likely try to get custody, even if you want to raise your child.

  20. Was just thinking this. OP - please Google your state and “grandparents rights”. Your mom is already plotting to take your future kid, she’s insane.

  21. As correct as you are, if she is really narc then she won't listen. She will turn it into your fault for setting boundaries because you're selfish and greedy and evil or some shit. I hate situations like this because they can be so fragile.

  22. She's unable to see you as a differentiated individual so in her mind she's having sex with your boyfriend and wants to keep the baby, but also keep her options open. Nice.

  23. When I was 18 I was dating this girl who was 23. Quite a few years difference, but I was an adult. My mother was so fucking obsessed with this topic too. I came home one morning after a pretty good night and apparently had a couple hickies I didn't notice and she freaked and started to rip my shirt off. So fucking bizarre, I can understand the lack of desire to have your kid knock up a girl almost 6 years older than him when he's barely 18 but that wasn't it. It's some weird obsessive compulsion to control every aspect of the other person, I assume because they consider any "unapproved" thing you do feels almost like if one of their limbs started to have independent actions and was being controlled by someone else.

  24. Wow, definitely sounds narcissistic. They see their children as an extension of themselves, that must like and do exactly as they do. Not as a separate individual with their own likes and needs. How is your relationship with her now?

  25. I’m going through something kinda similar; my mum is overly interested in inserting herself in my new relationship and makes inappropriate jokes. She needed to stay at my house for a week and so I had to tell her that some evenings/nights I won’t be home, this is the first time I had mentioned anything about meeting someone and she says “keep it in your pants, you should spend time with me”, ugh. Whenever we catch up, she will likely ask “what are you doing tonight?” and once she heard my phone get an alert and she begged me to tell her what the message said and if she could help respond??? I tell her she is crossing boundaries but she refuses to back off because she’s “living vicariously though” me.

  26. My mom was always like this too. I couldn’t be alone with my bf or sleep over until I turned 18 (no big deal cause a lot of parents have that rule, but we were 16 when we got together and I had a car so we had done it wayyy before then and even though she knew it she wouldn’t let us have a sleepover).

  27. I would imagine her goal is to make you (and him) uncomfortable with sex in general, leading to you and your BF breaking up, which means no outside person interfering with her control over you. It can also be a competition thing with a narc mother and her daughter(s). In any case, it's absolutely to cross your boundaries and keep you from being comfortable. It's also to try and force you to be/stay dependent on her instead of having support against her.

  28. My mother always made grossly inappropriate comments about sex since I was a child and before I knew what any of that was. It was very confusing. She always made me keep my bedroom door open the few times I had friends over (because she could not ever act like a competent parent and had zero boundaries). The assumption was that any visual barrier between myself, my friends, and her, obviously meant my friends and I would immediately start smashing our genitals together. I came home when I was 25 and I was still not allowed to have any privacy whatsoever.

  29. My nmom and nstephdad did the same thing to me. It fucked up alot for me because i was stupid enough to answer to all of the questions they asked even if it made me feel rly uncomfortable. Best thing to do is to avoid and never give any details about your sex life. Just make sure to be safe.

  30. Omg same here. My mom was very open to wanting me to tell her when I was ready to do the do with my boyfriend. I spoke to her about it one night through tears and she got furious at me. She asked me so many in depth questions and I answered and I felt so violated. Every time I went to his house after that discussion she asked “did you guys do anything today????” She’s still the same pervy, gross narcissist today. My boyfriend and I are still going strong and he’s my rock. I would’ve merked myself a long time ago without him.

  31. She desperately wants you to have a baby so that she can swoop in, claim the baby, shame you for your mistake while also maintaining control over you by forcing you to be grateful for her ‘help’.

  32. A word of warning, OP: whatever method of birth control you're using, guard it like your life depends on it. Do not let your mother anywhere NEAR it, even with you present.

  33. I would just outright put my foot down, saying something like ”I’m 18, we live in a country where people over 18 make their own decision. If I get pregnant and want to abort, I WILL do it, with or without your approval. This is MY life, MY potential pregnancy and your opinion does NOT matter”. Sadly, this is the only language that narcissists understand. Beat of luck to you!

  34. My NMom was always oddly obsessed with this kind of stuff too when I was a teenager and in my 20's. (I'm 38 now and have been No Contact for years).

  35. This is weird because i had the same situation with my mom , but she listened to me give my ex a BJ and listened to us have sex i was very weirded out now that i left my ex and my new boyfriend lives in Hawaii he’s moving down here to Houston so he’s only 3hrs from me but it’s weird she’s constantly telling me that i have to go on birth control but she’s always talking about her sex life like she’s rubbing it in my face? I don’t know it’s just very weird and i never figured out why she does it and i still can’t because i was in the car with her the other day and she just kept talking about her sex life and i was like wanna hear mine and she stopped so i’m not sure why she’s doing it but IT IS WEIRD that she literally listened to me and my ex have sex…

  36. When i was preggers in 2020 my Nmum also said i should give the baby to her and she would raise it and she wanted the picture of the first echo i took. She said i would be a murderer if i would abort it.

  37. Get a small, sturdy tackle box that has a spot for a lock, and lock it with a combination lock that doesnt have a keyhole on it. Key based padlocks are terrifyingly easy to get open, I follow a dude on tiktok who demonstrates this with the "hardest" to pick open. He just sticks shit in the keyhole and they pop open, it's messed up.

  38. i don’t know if i’m paranoid or not, but i would be very careful with brith control/ condoms. your mom sounds like she’s HOPING for a child. please be careful OP

  39. My NStepMom once called me a bitch because I refused to come to her Pure Romance sex toy party and talk about my sex life with her and her friends. I told her my sex life was private and she said I "didn't have to be such a bitch." Ns are weirdly obsessed with sex for some reason.

  40. Hey, apropos of nothing, don't keep condoms in your wallet, especially not a wallet you carry in a trouser pocket. (I realize that's more a thing for men than women, usually.) The heat and pressure will break down the latex.

  41. Did anyone have their nparent basically push them to having sex with someone, even when they weren’t comfortable with that stuff in general? I remember being 14 and I had a “boyfriend” and my mom was like “just let me know and I’ll buy you condoms” - like lady! I am a child!

  42. IMO this is a form of covert sexual abuse. I think you should take it very seriously. For narcs with no boundaries, sexuality is not private like it should be, and we can never underestimate what they are capable of.

  43. THATS INSANE what the hell! I use to think I was bisexual before college and my mom was the exact same and had a mental breakdown when I told about it.

  44. My mom went to college after us kids were grown and got her degree in social work. My wife was one of her classmates and they became friends. That's how I met my wife (I lived in a different state). After we were married it got really weird for my wife as my mom kept grilling her for information on us having sex. She wanted to know in very strong detail everything about having sex with me. It was another time I had to go full no contact/no communication with my mom.

  45. Oh wow that's so disturbing and hey, don't think all social workers are like this! I'm a Social Work major too.. we aren't all this weird haha

  46. I am so sorry you have to deal with this in your life. I can relate as my mother was the same way it was kinda creeping reading how similar their comments are. So I did get pregnant and confided to my mother about my options. She went on and on about how she was going to adopt it and get another chance. (We are talking about her grandchild) The way she talked made me feel like a surrogate. Then she started saying how this is a good thing for me since getting pregnant will help solve my medical issues as it did for her. (She still suffers from same medical issues). She talked liked I'd be the one using the baby. It was full stop there for me. Not once did this person have any thought about the life of this child. Not once did the child's need cross her mind. It was disgusting and revolting. I couldnt bear bringing someone into this world that would have to deal and grow up with the childhood I had, because it was slavery.

  47. You’re right about your mom, plenty of red flags and you know they aren’t for decoration. I have something else to say though; you are so tolerant of her misbehavior in your personal life that it has me left with the feeling that you among other things have a difficult time enforcing boundaries for yourself. A therapist can really help with this. You deserve freedom, privacy, and a life where you don’t have to explain yourself to others. I believe that you have been groomed to tolerate a lot of this nonsense bullshit and if you’re not careful you can end up traumatizing yourself by allowing others who are outside of your family to do the same.

  48. This is wise advice. It happened to me. I went from out of the fire (narc family) into the frying pan (ex and his father) after going NC with narc family. Be very careful about all future relationships and who you trust. Narcs somehow find those of us who already went thru narc abuse. They are very good at manipulation. They are skilled predators.

  49. Watch out for her sabotaging your birth control. When you do decided to have a kid, set strong boundaries from the outset and hold to them like your life depends on it. PRO TIP: The delivery nurses are generally awesome about keeping out unwanted guests. Just make sure they are aware of your wishes and they won't hesitate to slam doors in people's faces.

  50. The unusual behavior makes me worried this is the sort of person that might hide pills or otherwise on me holes in condoms to compromise your birth control protection. This neurotic belief that if you have a child it will become theirs is frightening. That they believe they can engineer a situation to obtain something.

  51. Hold up, this hypothetical child is gonna be HERS and SHES going to name it??? You're not a dog having puppies. My mom said something like this after seeing a news story about a pregnant mother going to jail. She said "If (my name) was in jail and had a baby, I would keep it :)". Those types of comments are just TOO creepy.

  52. WAIT I just realized that. Even if I did have one why is she saying she picked out a name. WTF she gave a reason too. My boyfriend has bright blue eyes and she hopes my SON will have BLUE EYES like his DAD. like wthh

  53. Holy shit, I'm so sorry. As others have said in this post, please be extra care with your birth control. You shouldn't have to deal with this... What a psychopath!! To not only try to control your bodily autonomy, but to also call dibs like this is some kinda game??? Holy shit!!!!

  54. I highly recommend the arm implant if you are able to get it. I personally haven’t had any issues with it and it would ensure that you are on a birth control can’t be tampered with.

  55. My nmom was also weirdly obsessed with my sex life and tried to take my child from me when i was 23 (she obviously failed bc there was no reason). Ive thankfully been NC with her for years now. Its weird, creepy, and borderline covert incest (although my nmom actually molested me as a child). It's bc they think theyre entitled to your body and "how dare you" do something they dont know about with the body "they made" (bc it will never be your body to them).

  56. My nmom is like this. Always lots of angry screaming when it came to the topic of sex. And lots of anger and resentment when it came to relationships either for myself or my sister. She made lots of strange angry faces at us, said insane stuff and did everything she could to interfere with the relationships. I think the situation is that the relationships were a threat to her control over us. We could experience actual love. Now my sister dated a sociopath, and her boyfriend and my mother were both rearranging the furniture inside my sisters head. On the topic of sex, my mother was basically at war with my sister, who eventually became a slut. I suppose my sister found something she could control that our mother couldnt.

  57. Yeah, she’s insane. You need to keep up birth control methods until you’re emotionally and financially ready to be a parent. And then you should keep that baby away from your mom.

  58. "You cant get an abortion!"... Oh I'm sorry... the last time I checked this is my body and I can do whatever the hell I want.

  59. i completely understand where you’re coming from, my step mom is also obsessed with the idea that my boyfriend and i have sex. it’s the same way with her daughter. she’s quite literally asked her daughter what her husbands d*ck size was once and thought it was okay. my boyfriend and i have been sexually active since i was 17 and he was 16. we had been dating for a while and we waited for when we felt it was safe and appropriate to do so. i eventually came clean about it to get proper contraceptives but since then she’s been borderline obsessed with my sex life, especially because i’m transgender. she’s asked me how we’ll have sex after “the surgery” and who would be bottoming. there’s been many other instances of things like this with her and it absolutely disgusts me.

  60. OP's mother exhibits all the classic Cluster-B behavioral patterns. I hope OP understands her mother's forced-birth opinion has no bearing on her daughter's bodily autonomy.

  61. My wife and I have been together since I was 15. We are in our late 30s now. She should appreciate that your relationship is based on love and respect. And that in a sense, you’re far more chaste and less promiscuous than.. like... everyone else. But she won’t. Do yourself a favor and create hard boundaries. Don’t stay with her. If you can help it by any means. She’ll act like a lifelong smoker without cigarettes, because she’s getting her kick and keeping her mind occupied with you. But you’ll Have clarity you didn’t before.

  62. Please be careful she doesn't poke holes in those condoms to get that "unwanted" baby. Wouldn't put it passed a narc.

  63. I think they obsess over the topic so much because it’s the one area of your life that you’ll never share with them, it’s completely personal and private to you.

  64. My mom told me the opposite. That I would be getting an abortion. I didn't have a bf nor was I anywhere near being sexually active. My mom was religious. Narcs make no sense.

  65. please do not store condoms in your wallet!! It can greatly affect its effectiveness and can make it way easier for it to fail

  66. I think as a 19 year old. It’s time for the big steps to find your own space. By all means don’t dive in living with your partner but it sounds more mature to just move on with a responsible roommate to share some space with (and to feel like your own adult).

  67. My nDad had a weird obsession with the idea of me having sex too. I wasn’t sexually active, but he was treating me like I was & like he didn’t approve starting when I was around twelve years old. It’s super fucked.

  68. My mother is a narcissistic mother and she is so fucking weird about sex. She would openly talk about sex toys and whips infront of her adult children and keep porno mags in her night stand table and a box of condoms for her new men, yet she wouldn't allow my brother to even share a bed with his wife at the cottage because she was worried they might have sex. They have 2 kids who were also visiting with them at the time (they are now divorced). Her thing was "no sex under my roof" and that even applied to married adult children. Lol. It sounds so insane saying this out loud to others because it's so unbelievable but thats who she is. So fucked up. I haven't talked to her in over 5 years now..not because of that but because she's a narcissistic mother and I could not deal with her antics anymore once I had my own children. It was exhausting. And really, I don't need them being exposed to that level of crazy anyway.

  69. She's committing emotional incest against your will. You can feel free to call whatever social services are in your country for an adult welfare check, cuz she is crazy and abusive. Get out of her sphere as soon as possible. I am so sorry you're going through her narcissist BS, it's sickening to read.

  70. My mom is similar. She likes to know the sexual details when I date a man. She's so nosy and it makes me uncomfortable. Plus, she's he last person I want to discuss that with. She behaves like I don't have friends to talk to about that and I'm her only friend. Now, I try to be quiet about men, dating, and sex.

  71. Gosh, if I were you I'd keep my contraception somewhere your mum cannot get it. Please don't keep condoms in your wallet - friction and heat changes might increase the risk of the condoms failing. Store condoms in a safer place and carry them around in a dedicated rigid box (say, you can fit a few in those tin containers used to discreetly carry period pads around, so it doesn't scream "CONDOMS IN HERE" either).

  72. I would just say “Mom, I love you but I don’t want to talk about my sex life with you ever and you’re making me really uncomfortable” She’s going to like ruin your sex life and be in your head

  73. My mom did something similar. When I still lived with my parents, she would constantly bring up the sexual problems she was having with my dad and had the nerve to act like *I* was the weird one for asking her to stop. Now that I'm on my own, she's always asking about my dating life, but I just lie and say I'm not looking to date because I know that she would freak out about me having sex. It's so weird and invasive. And she wonders why I make up excuses to not come back and visit. 🙄

  74. From my read of it, very narcissistic behavior. If you still aren't sure, consider visiting Little Shaman on YouTube. There are other good ones, but I can't think of them atm. If you'd like me to provide some others, just DM me and ask; I will do the research for you.

  75. You got yourself a Grade A Narcissist right there. Only advice I can give is move out asap and when you do go either VLC or NC.

  76. mom constantly talks about me having sex wants to name our kid Jet because she never wants me to have an abortion

  77. OP, be very careful about your birth control. Can you get on the pill or get an IUD or injections? Condoms are very easy to sabotage and I'm terrified for you that your mother might try to get you pregnant. I wouldn't trust any condoms that she might have had access to.

  78. Yeah I think she’s really honing in on just you having a baby in general because she wants one. I agree with the other comments on being careful with your protection in case she tries something.

  79. My mom would constantly bring up my sex life. Asking how many men I've had sex with, which I never told her. Every male friend was somebody I slept with, according to her. She would tell me I give it out to easily. She would go through my room when I wasn't home. She found a vibrator and would bring it up at inappropriate times, like calling my boyfriends grandmother to talk to me about it when I was on vacation with their family. Or bring it up at our family holiday. She's surprised when I moved out at 18 and have minimal contact with her. She would make comments until i was around 27, and then I started tell her off about how my sex life isn't her business and since she assumes I'm a whore she must have raised me to be one. Now she just guilt trips me on how terrible of a job she did, to the point I end up consoling her and telling her i forgive her. Your mom is a narcissist. Be aware of the power she can have over you and don't let it continue to hurt your life. She has her own issues she needs to work out, this is not a reflection of you. Also, mirena was great birth control.

  80. She’s also doing it because she knows that you’re uncomfortable and that you are unsure how to proceed with normal boundaries. I’m so sorry! She should be the one teaching you how to demand your own privacy, not invading yours in such a gross way.

  81. My mom was like this but I didn’t have a boyfriend, I was just fat. So she would always ask me if I was pregnant. Ugh. And if I ended up pregnant she wasn’t going to be looking after it etc etc

  82. That last line hit home for me, my moms motto is “it’s a new day whatever happened yesterday doesn’t matter anymore”. Nice thought in theory, but kinda hard when you’re trying to talk stuff out and she refuses because it happened yesterday 🙂

  83. So weird my mom was like that with the "gotcha" stuff too. Like we had just moved into a new house a few weeks earlier and there were muddy footprints on the outside wall under my bedroom window. She said she knows I've been sneaking out the window because of this. I said no, I've never snuck out any window and if I did it wouldn't be that one. My other bedroom window was way more practical if I needed to actually escape a fire or something lol.

  84. I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’m no expert (other than having a Cluster B disorder parent myself) but the way she reacted is very manipulative. This behavior from your mom is really familiar to me. All through my teen years and young adulthood I was accused of some crazy things. She couldn’t see that I was a pretty responsible kid. When I finally did start having sex she was relentless. Even physically lashing out with slaps and punches and being dragged by the hair and neck. If you are in an unsafe situation please tell someone you trust. Have a go bag ready.

  85. She is 100% a nparent if there is still any doubt. Stand up and stay strong. Have you and boyfriend thought about getting a place so you don't have to stay with her??

  86. Why are they so obsessed with puberty, periods and sex? It seems like such a common experience for so many people and I’ve never been able to find an explanation.

  87. Yep, sounds like my mother. The thing about narcissistic people that drives me up the wall is that they have no respect for boundaries. In the case of a parent, they typically do not view the child as their own person with a unique perspective, lived experience, and self-identity. They also exist in a world of their own making that is rarely rooted in reality. Everyone they interact with serves a purpose either to grovel at their feet or sprinkle fairy dust from on high. They don't see people as being on their level.

  88. Please protect your birth control methods. If you're primarily using condoms, there are narcissistic parents that will do things like poke holes in condoms just so there's a pregnancy and they can rescue the children or get in a solid "itoldyouso".

  89. This sounds so much like my mother. When at college move out create distance and never look back. Keep a relationship at a distance. My mother tried to stop me from getting married to my “problematic” husband who called her out on the crazy. Stay strong!

  90. Mine didn't like talking about it incessantly, but she did LOVE flinging the door open suddenly to try to get a glimpse of it. It turns my stomach just thinking about it decades later.

  91. My parents did this too to the point where both my partner and I were uncomfortable. My partner was over one night and spent the night (sleeping on the couch because I had a twin). He got dressed in his pajama pants - and in pajama pant fashion it's easier to outline things - and she made the comment that she could see why I was with him. He was 19 at the time. When I got diagnosed with a hormonal disorder she approached me and offered to surrogate our children. Joked that she would sneak into his home and steal used condoms and freeze them for when we broke up so I could still have his kid (we have been together 10 years and are married now). She even started asking about how big he was and started talking about my dad's genitals, as if I'd just... join that dumpster fire of a conversation. It just got... So fucking weird.

  92. My nDad was obsessed with my sex life too, always hassling me about how often I was having sex with my partner, wanting to give me tips and telling me if I didn’t do it enough my partner would leave me. It drove me nuts.

  93. This is abusive manipulative behaviour. What’s more, it sounds like your mum is obsessive compulsive about the topic and is delusional too. And that it has been developing for some time. Do you have any other adults you can stay with and confide in?

  94. I would have your boyfriend bring condoms with him and not use any she could possibly have access to. With her obsession about you getting pregnant, it’s completely possible she might try to poke a hole in the condoms

  95. Yeah I never figured this one out…so with my mom she was creepily enmeshed with my first boyfriend. He lived down the road, and would was over a lot. She was always over accommodating with letting him come over any time, if he wanted to spend the night he could have… but then when I was away from home visiting my dad in another state he would still show up. She continues to brag about the time he came and sat by her door while she was in the shower. And they’d text personal stuff about our relationship. It sparked yearrrsss long issues with trust and not willing to explore relationships in the way high school kids do because I wanted that to be my thing. Not something she was involved in. So my next boyfriends knew how crazy she was and didn’t have their own issues like my first. So our relationships were private and she was constantly accusing me of having sex. Like she had to know. She would say it as if it was a fact, but you could tell she had no idea and was just trying to get me to admit it. Same with marijuana. It became so annoying because she kept saying it like it was all true, trying to get me to admit something that was far from the truth, and something I actually blamed her for.

  96. Weirdly enough, my nmom was also obsessed with my sexual relationships, but she was still doing this well into my mid 20s. It was weird.

  97. My mom berated me about having sex at the door because I got home late after a night out with my girlfriend. Heard it all about having a kid ang supporting it. I was still a virgin and it was probably another 3 months before we did have sex.

  98. Looking at these comments, I don’t even have a boyfriend and the narc I live with is insisting (or their own made up story) that I have one and I better use safety. They keep ranting to me about how they shouldn’t have married x and just saying how they regret their choices when they were younger..

  99. Why would it matter if you “snuck out”? You’re an adult. You need to lay down some boundaries with your mother and if she won’t abide, you need to get out

  100. Very weird to read this for me because my mom always said the same thing about abortion to me. I told her I'd rather have an abortion than have a child and give it to her.

  101. Why the fuck do narcissists like babies so much. My mom is obsessed with babies, ideas of me having her grandchildren, obsessed with my aunts baby. It's weird and creepy

  102. It bothers me how much this sounds like the exact shit that my mom pulls constantly, especially the part on accusing me of ridiculous things that I’ve never done before nor have ever lied about.

  103. Bruh is for real. Therapist here. Borderline borderline borderline. Which is in the same cluster as narcissistic personality disorder. Try to be as boring as possible to them; it’s called “grey rocking.” Good luck to you my dear.

  104. My husband’s aunt does this to us, not the abortion stuff, but just constantly brings up us having sex. Around our whole family like it’s nothing. It is so rude and so out of pocket. I’m so sorry you have to deal with this, but honestly, i would make sure she can’t ever access your condoms bc it seems like she would tamper with them. Not trying to scare you, but it seems like she’s counting on your failure, which would cost you a whole lot of worry and expenses trying to hide what’s happening. I hope everything is okay and if you just call her out consistently, maybe she’ll stop?? Just keep yourself safe!

  105. I think there may be a possibility your mother had an abortion and she’s projecting internalized shame and trauma from that onto you.

  106. Oh Lord, my whole family was like this with me from ages 12-30 years old (yes, you read that right). I was constantly being shamed...for starting my period at a young age, for how my body developed compared to other girls, for wearing lip gloss (even as a grown woman this happened!), for boys looking at me, for any interaction at all with males. My aunt and an older female cousin were obsessed with making sure that I felt ugly, had no self-esteem, and that no boy would ever like me.

  107. How? I waited threes years into my relationship to have it and have sex once or twice a month.. We both don't really care for it that much

  108. This comment or post has been removed, because it does not assume a context of abuse. Assuming a context of abuse is a fundamental rule of this group.

  109. That's normal for a lot of high schoolers and OP is an adult now. What happened when OP was a sophomore has no bearing on what OP is doing now as an adult.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Author: admin