broke NC out of curiosity, visited narc and INSTANTLY my brain felt foggy and sad. Narc also didnt change at ALL, pretended the NC thing never happened + proceeded to force me to come to their events (lmao yeah right) anyone have a similar story of breaking NC and realizing narcs will never change?

  1. This is an automated message posted to ALL posts in this subreddit with some basic information about the group including (very importantly) rules. Why are you getting this message? Most people seem to not read the sidebar for information or the rules, so it is now being posted under all posts.

  2. Do you know about Tim Fletcher? He has a YouTube channel with a free video library about healing the inner damage that complex trauma causes.

  3. so true! very believable too especially when you've been conditioned to doubt yourself and feel guilt over them no matter what, not anymore though ;)

  4. My nparent does the same. Ignores any of the 'bad' stuff that has happened. And it feels so obvious they're ignoring the elephant in the room. It is pure relief when they're gone/they're not around. So yeah, you're not the only one. The less I see of them, the better!!

  5. When I went from NC to VLC, I declined all dinners and stay-overs. I would stop by their house for up to 2 hours. When they don't think they have you trapped into a meal or can't leave, they stay on the nicer side. Like you said, it is the meals and the places where it is impolite to leave where they make it miserable.

  6. One of my initial boundaries with my parents before I went full NC was that I wouldn’t visit their house unless I was with a friend and I absolutely wouldn’t stay over or stay more than a couple hours.

  7. Thank you for this post. I’m 18m NC with my nMum and I sometimes get the urge to see her but I know i will end up in the same situation that you’ve described

  8. I’m so sorry to hear about how your visit went. Super happy to hear you had your boyfriend there who is supportive and a safe place for you.

  9. N's see breaking NC as an admission and as acceptance. To them it means that they have your permission to continue the relationship just as it was. That's why they don't acknowledge that anything changed or will change because you came back. Their attitude is that you're there, so you accept the dynamics.

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