Anyone else feel like they're wasting their good looks by having SA?

  1. This. No good looks. Can't make interaction without boring the other and myself at the same time. Can't do interviews. Can't do anything. Can't get myself to face the only person I've opened up to and trusted bc I ruined everything. People I like, they'd like anyone who is everything I am not. Trapped in a foreign country with an expiring visa amidst COVID. No money to return home. No money to stay. No money to do grad studies. Can't get anyone fucking hire me. Can't possibly get through any fucking scholarship interview. I just should not exist and, honestly, I don't want to. And sorry for the rant, I just feel it too much to hold it inside me.

  2. I can feel you. I’m not saying I’m attractive, but I can get a lot of matches on dating apps and I’ve talked to a lot of really nice women on them. Then the inevitable happens, it gets to the point where I should ask them to meet (or on the odd occasion they ask me) and then I can’t go through with it. I’ve met one girl before but she ghosted me after, which destroyed my confidence. It doesn’t matter how good looking you are, if you’re awkward and can’t be yourself, they will never be likely to go for you sadly (unless you’re a female). SA is literally one of the worst invisible illnesses to have.

  3. Because of insecurity it wasn't until I was a grown adult before I realized I'm attractive. By some dumb luck I met a girl in college with whom I spent around 20 years. And still, 20 years later, being single is terrifying because when an attractive woman shows even the slightest interest in me, I freeze up, feel goofy and exit the situation as quickly as I can.

  4. [cackles aggressively] No, no I do not. I'm aware that I look like a god damn goblin (thanks, everyone.). But aye bruh - if you got some confidence in you, HELL YEAH. I'd offer some advice, but confidence for me is "momentary" AT BEST. Best wishes, love, and support though - go get em!

  5. No, but I do feel like I'm not making full use of my brain. I was always an avid reader and a good student. If I believed in myself more, I could go even further in my educational pursuits and contribute more ideas at work.

  6. Keep thinking of being 70 years old or on your death bed. Are you happy with how everything is going. Things seems so trivial when you have such a distant reflection. I know things seem bone crushingly heavy in times of anxiety but how do you feel when your alone and confident? I know I feel i can take on anything when im comfortable. So for drive I think of my self 50 years from now looking back thinking “im glad I did all those things” and not “why was I so scared?”

  7. Whenever I feel lonely, I always think of the missed opportunities for friendships or romances. It is like when I feel myself getting closer to someone, I will ghost them before they get the chance to ghost me

  8. Yeah this is literally it! I’m 28F and I’ve even started to get a line or two on my face and I’m horrified, like I can’t deal with ageing and I feel like I’m just wasting the little time I have left of ‘being attractive’ by being at home and it really stresses me out :/

  9. It can feel like wasting, but it's only wasting if you would be able to talk to women and you wouldn't because you're lazy hehe. I've had a similar experience (though I don't have model looks or anything) and I have a really good looking, sweet and smart girlfriend now at age 34, so it's never too late. I do sometimes wonder what would have happened if I wasn't too scared to open my mouth. Talking to beautiful women is still the thing that makes me most nervous. Well maybe talking to serial killers, but I don't think I've ever met one.

  10. I feel the same way, and it’s worse because if I ever even manage to get a GF I feel like they’ll be expecting something I just can’t deliver on from inexperience.

  11. Yess absolutely, ive gotten some play despite having SA but it only gets harder as you get older and more isolated and grow apart from the wider social world.

  12. Yep. I get hit on pretty often or asked out and the whole time I'm panicking looking for a way out even if I'm very interested.

  13. same! i'm 22f and i've been on dating sites for like 3 yrs, i would say i'm a pretty attractive girl tho. i had so much confidence online talking to guys and getting many matches, but as soon as people would mention to hang in person i would go ghost...me, a girl with SA going on a date? no way...! i feel like i'm wasting my looks too. i've taken a break these last 6 months tho to work on myself before i even come back close to going in the dating game, wish me luck! i wish every1 luck as well

  14. I've been asked out several times, and to the ones I said yes to everything falls apart pretty quickly because I overthink everything. I know I shouldn't and they're just a person looking to have fun like me, but my brain goes a million miles a minute and I come off as awkward. I honestly don't get why they made a move on me in the first place.

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