The Daily Check-In for Thursday, May 12th: Just for today, I am NOT drinking!

  1. i almost had 8 months. went on a 5-day vacation where i dipped my toe back in the booze pond with a glass of wine here and a beer there. luckily, made it out unscathed with no damage done.

  2. Glad you came back! I think many of us dread vacation because there is such a prevailing mentality that "not working days" mean "alcohol days". IWNDWYT

  3. Well done, I’m actually thinking of a healthy retreat instead of a holiday to avoid the temptation. Very proud of you 🌻

  4. I thought I could change through pure willpower over my last stretch sober, but I was wrong. I don't know what changes I'll have to make to be honest — I'm seeing a therapist again for the first time in years tomorrow to help alleviate some of the mental burden and give me tools to keep living healthily in the future.

  5. Good on you for seeing a therapist my friend. That is something that gets harder to do the more you need it. Tom, I'm proud you're here, and I hope tomorrow goes well for you! IWNDWYT

  6. Turns out i would put up with manipulation and bullying quite a bit when I was drinking. Getting sober made me put my foot down. Just asking friends to knock it off would send them into a sociopathic temper tantrum about how they were doing nothing wrong. Some of them continued to try and bully via social media. It’s more heartbreaking to me seeing them be addicted to other’s misery. Craving that drug.

  7. It’s really sad isn’t it when we have to leave people behind or watch them continue the painful path. But you’re leading the way sober friend 🌻

  8. Good morning SD! I have had issues with this too, Kara. My family has a completely normalised drinking culture. Finding out who I am sober has been a journey. I am now comfortable with being the only sober person. My friends have been horrified that I have stopped drinking, but like you, I have recognised that I need to be sober for ME, not drunk for someone else. IWNDWYT 💗

  9. I've changed the types of events I go to that might be awkward or triggering if I'm around others that drink, especially if I know they will get drunk and stupid. I'm still learning to set boundaries with my partner who enjoys drinking and not joining her when she goes out because she loooooves to socialize and I don't, especially now that I'm not drinking lol. I guess it's come down to knowing what I don't enjoy and limiting it instead of drinking until it's tolerable.

  10. One of the highlights of not drinking for me has been leaving whenever the hell I want. $6 tab and $4 tip for an entire night out? Yes please.

  11. It sounds like you’re being true to yourself and on a path to really finding yourself, inspiring and well done for 4 days, we got this sober friend 🌻

  12. All of my friends/colleagues have been supportive (despite many of them being pretty heavy drinkers) - it's my parents in law who have queried me the most (but not to the point of being rude or pushy) - they don't drink excessively but can't understand why I can't moderate, despite having known me for over ten years 😒

  13. Still Wednesday night here. I'm not in a great place right now. We've been planning on going to an SCA camping trip over memorial day weekend. It was a yearly thing until covid, and this was the first year it was coming back. But. The water at the park it's hosted at is testing positive for e. coli. They're still going forward with the event, with a "boil water" mandate. We have small children, and e. coli is not something we want to mess with. But. I've been making clothes for all of us for months. The kids have been looking forward to this for months. Very few people from our camp will be there, and I'm so disheartened. We might go for one day, dress up, have fun, but it won't be the big camping trip we had promised the kids.

  14. I can relate to the burden of humanities problems right now, and it might seem selfish but I try not to think about it, my misery won’t help and if I sort myself out I’m not contributing. Maybe one day I’ll have more to offer. Sorry about your camp, better safe. I won’t fucking drink with you either sober friend 🌻

  15. Surprising (or maybe unsurprising) number of my friends tuned out to be just drinking buddies, so it was unfortunately necessary to cut them out in the early stages. It sucks, but I really did not need someone who would drag me back down after I fought so hard to claw my way out of that hole.

  16. I agree that sobriety is lonely. All of my friends are at the bar and I'm avoiding the bar. It's an adjustment but I feel that many people right now are very lonely, regardless of being sober or not. Life is lonely right now. I have no solutions but I won't drink. This is my last day on vacation in Zurich. It would be very expressive to be an alcoholic in this country. I'm thankful I have the tools to stay sober through this. I didn't come this far to come this far. I'm sending you positive vibes from Switzerland💜💜💜. Drinking sucks.

  17. I am struggling with poor sleep and waking up with headaches worse than when I was drinking. Not sure what's going on ...

  18. You know I had this same thing. Horrid headaches. I had to do a process of elimination to figure out what was happening. Haven't had any recently. I hope yours ease up for ya. IWNDWYT

  19. Drinking was the only way I hung out with people, so now I just don't hang out with people 🙃 I know maybe that sounds sad but it helps me work on being happy with myself, which is something I've needed to figure out for years now. IWNDWYT

  20. There will be friends irl when you are ready. In the meantime, internet friends are real too, we’re all people, except me, I’m a mermaid! The thing that help most for me is finding interests and activities you like to do, and finding others to do it with. It feels a bit fake and scary at first, but over time, as you play tennis together, or breed guinea pigs together or knit sweaters or bake cakes or run marathons, those shared interest friends become your real life friends. Alcohol in a way is just a hobby you’ve given up .

  21. Drinking for me, especially in the last few years, has been a solo endeavour, characterised by loneliness. Now I’m sober not much has changed, although I am starting to feel a lot more comfortable around people. Although I am a bit of a lone wolf I do need other people and I think that will be one of my biggest challenges in sobriety. I have many issues with AA but one of the good things about it is the community aspect, meeting other sober folks who have shared similar experiences. I might start going again just for that.

  22. I haven’t had to change much to ensure my sobriety. Once my ex moved out, and I wrapped up my birthday bender, all I had to do was just stop drinking. I still have the same friends. They drink, I don’t. I still have the same job, I’m just better at it now. I suppose I lucked out. I lost my best friend, my girlfriend and I used to get along perfectly. We were a power couple. I miss her some days, but overall I couldn’t quit drinking with her in my life. That was the only big change. Her loss. My gain.

  23. I had a drink yesterday … I am on a business trip and from the beginning I avoided alcohol thanks to non-alcoholic beers and ciders. This time I was not prepared. The bar where all the team was spending the evening was a traditional pub. 15 people from my team ordered beer and when it was my turn, I felt so much pressure. Some colleagues were looking at me and waiting for me to order to go to the table. Then, I ordered a beer. I politely said no to round 2 and left earlier. I don’t reset my number of days because I feel like I am still following my sobriety goal. This drink was unexpected and now I can learn from this situation to not to find myself in this kind of situation.

  24. Despite this pain my knee is putting me through after this surgery lasting this damn long (2 and a half weeks) IWNDWYT!

  25. Day 11 Babbbyyy! who would have thought IWNDWYT - I have been so much more productive in work and haven't had to skip the gym any mornings since I gave up .I would book the full week every morning but then towards Wednesday would cancel Thursday Friday Saturday morning. Rinse and repeat - 2nd weekend coming up but ill keep myself busy and eat myself to death in food

  26. So far, none. I think my first big challenge will be holidays with the family. They all normalize drinking and I'm probably going to hear nasty comments. But I will not drink with you then, nor today! 🌻

  27. My office is big on drinking. We have several bottles of liquor in our freezer and 12-18 beers in the fridge. It’s not uncommon to end the day with a shot, or stay after and have a couple with everyone. What’s helped for me is that I’ve switched my hours up so I’m not there at closing, so the temptation is gone. But today I will be, and I’m a bit nervous.

  28. I am not sure what happened yesterday for me to get so frustrated, but it was one of those moments when, had there been a shot of ___ in front of me, I might have been tempted. I was cleaning up in the kitchen and getting some stuff on deck for dinner prep and time just seemed to be moving slowly and nothing was happening as quickly or efficiently as I wanted.

  29. Day 4 checking in. The night sweats have abated and I’m starting to feel kind of good. I’m very aware that this is my danger zone - a busy day at work, a warm summers evening, a stressful bedtime are all very likely to invite thoughts of “I deserve it, I haven’t got a problem, I proved that by going a few days without.”

  30. The major change, or really major adjustment that I've had to make while quitting, is how I perceive myself. I always bounced off what others perceived of me, and took on that role and that emotion, and made it my own...pretty sad. I really had no idea who I really was/am, but slowly am finding my way. There's a newfound confidence in one's self when you're not controlled by a alcohol. The cloud is starting to lift, and I'm learning that I'm ok. It doesn't really matter what other people think of me, and honestly I don't even give a shit anymore. I'm getting so much more content with getting to know the inner child me, and not the version of me that everyone else feels comfortable with, just to ensure their own comfort! Done with that.

  31. 27 days into my new sobriety. I have done a year before but decided I wanted to enjoy beer again, turns out even small amounts of booze impact my mental health now. I have recently had pretty bad anxiety and was feeling depressed so I stopped drinking, it immediately made my mental health improve. To the point I feel joyful at the moment. I am still struggling with the thought of not having a beer with my friends when they visit so I am trying to hold onto the thought of how good I feel right now.

  32. Up at 3a this morning feeling like total shit. Not because of booze - finally got that nasty covid bug. Striking how similar this has felt to a loooong drawn out nasty hangover.

  33. I am fortunate that I have a friend group that Is supportive of my sobriety. I was nervous the first few times got together, but they don’t care that I’m drinking a fizzy water while they have cocktails and beer. IWNDWYT ❤️💜❤️💜

  34. No, IWNDWYT. I have not said that here in a while, but that powerful acronym is still in my autofill in my phone. Make it a good day, SD.

  35. We’ve got to Thursday! A mixed week for me so far, I’ve got a lot of balls in the air between work, family, caring for elderly and fitting in exercise. My eating has been a bit wobbly but one thing has been very consistent IWNDWYT 🌊

  36. Yesterday I was in a situation where I'd usually drink at least a bottle of wine (and most probably significantly more). Instead I went to bed fairly early and though I slept badly, I'm pleased today that I didn't cave. Same situation today, but I'm feeling strong.

  37. This sub and AA have opened up a whole new group of support/friends for me. My friend at work is super supportive, our relationship has changed in a good way. Her dad died from alcohol. She took care of him. She grew up with his addiction. She is SO PROUD of me! My daughter and I are up. Getting ready to head to the airport for my nephew’s wedding. IWNDWYT lovely folks!

  38. It’s hard for me to see what changes I made in order to become sober because it took a lot of trial and error over many years to get where I am today I think the last thing to finally change was the act of actually not drinking first I got rid of the unhealthy relationships and nourished more healthy ones stopped going to bars started doing more things that served me and then finally something clicked and I was able to once and for good stop drinking I needed a lot of help though. I did therapy, inpatient rehab, intensive outpatient rehab, and talked to my doctor. IWNDWYT

  39. My family is the most supportive thing ever. I’m doing this for me just as much as for them. I’ve lost friends, but were they really? All we ever did was drink together. I’m getting sober with my partner, which brings its own struggles, but also rewards.

  40. I’m feeling this lately. I a meeting this week I described it as feeling like a square peg in my own life; like I’m growing and doing all these things I love and I’m so proud of but also like I can’t connect with the people on my life who used to know me best. It’s hard and alienating. I don’t want to go back to my old, small, sad life, but this also makes me sad.

  41. Haven’t really had to make any changes to the people I hang out with, because I don’t often hang out with people. I visit my parents and occasionally see friends, all of whom live 3 hours away. Rarely I’ll do something like that golf outing a while back with people from work. Of course they all drink, but none of them has seemed bothered by the fact that I no longer do. I don’t mind telling them why if I’m pressed.

  42. Struggling for some reason today - been feeling really good for the last couple of weeks but today i'm getting rather irritable about the whole thing and almost feeling sad/guilty that i can't drink

  43. My friends outside of Nashville lost their home to a fire Tuesday night. Total loss... they own nothing. Wife, husband, 4 kids and a dog made it out alive. Pictures of the blaze, you might think otherwise. I'm crushed for them.

  44. I had to move away from friends who represented temptation and find new ways to be social that don't involve alcohol. That has been hard, actually, but I have had some success by devoting myself to more community service.

  45. It’s hard to stick your guns sometimes. But not drinking always feels so much better. You all are doing amazing - really. IWNDWYT.

  46. I had a dream last night where I was drinking and something terrible happened as a result. Fuck me, did I wake up scared and wondering if any of it was real until I shook off the sleepy haze.

  47. My adult daughter and her partner are living with us for a while to save some money. I had quit a few weeks before they came, and I’m so glad I did. Not only has being sober kept me from handling any of the inevitable stress with drinking, but my daughter has quit too! Note we enjoy an n/a beer together in the evening. IWNDWYT

  48. Iwndwyt! My hangover today and the shitty night’s sleep I got is such a wake up call that I need to cut back. It’s gonna be a long day at work, but I am hoping to move forward with accountability.

  49. 30 day today guys. It feels great to be able to say this. I even made it past a tough one last night after a friend offered me a sip of her tequila drink (very nice expensive tequila) and I declined. It was a really good feeling to be able to do that.

  50. My boss who terminated my contract after I was honest about why I missed a day without notice during my last binge wants to talk today. Don't know what to expect but IWNDWYT

  51. Busy day moving furniture into storage as we compress our living footprint even more (living through a renovation to save some money). We also have raccoons living in our attic because of the same renovation so we are dealing with that. Ha! IWNDWYT and hope y’all have a good Thursday. ❤️

  52. This is a great post, and if the readers don't know, Augusten Burroughs documented his road to recovery in the hysterical book "Dry" I highly recommend it!

  53. I’ve been incredibly fortunate at rebuilding my life after I quit. Friends and family recognize that I’m trying to not only be sober but also change those things that made me want to drink in the first place. IWNDWYT!

  54. I'm super fortunate that most of my family and friends supported, and continue to support, my sobriety. But, one of the the things that continues to ensure my sobriety is making other healthier lifestyle changes as well, like eating better and working out. If I didn't have this all-around healthier me, I probably would've slid back into drinking by now 😧 making these changes has been crucial.

  55. My years of nightly drinking were well hidden, hurting only myself. The change was that I decided to stop trying to die. My sober journey is completely solitary, except for this special DCI on SD. Thank you. 🙏 IWNDWYT

  56. Had a work dinner last night at a fancy steak house. It was a great meal but I’ve forgotten how long these dinners can be when you are not drinking. First drinks while you wait for everyone, then opening cocktails, then appetizers, finally dinner, then post dinner coffee drinks. I left after the meal but still it was a long night. I didn’t feel like I was missing out on the drinking but I sure wish everyone else would have moved things along a little faster. Also, I noticed immediately the only other person not drinking in the group. It was neat to notice, I don’t think I would have in the past. IWNDWYT 🌟

  57. Thankfully my friends are on board with me not drinking, although they were surprised to hear I had a problem. I hid it well. I don’t go to every party like I used to, but Covid actually helped with that. I still love dancing but I limit the how many I go to now. I like to spend time to myself more so now. IWNDWYT

  58. Day 3 down, working on day 4... I'm still hiding/pretending at sobriety, or feel like I am at least. This weekend will be the first event where I would typically drink but am now not going to. Strategy is to just say I'm taking a break to loose some weight, which is not completely untrue. I'll get a sense of the support I'll have then...

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