Honestly that floored me. The entirety of that sentence was god-awful. Hideous, lurid detail like that is often enough to make me put a book down in the first couple of pages.
It’s just a reddit post, dude. I used to have to write documentation and copy that was perfectly edited in my career but you don’t see me doing my professional editing pass on my interwebs comments lol
Hmm, I’ve seen this kind of arguments over and over again. If you can write characters, dialogue, description, world building, and story like JK Rowling, then of course, too many adverbs won’t matter, even though JK Rowling herself has expressed regret for using too many of them.
Just because something sells well does not mean it is well written. The advice OP provides is a good place to start for a writer who is still learning to create descriptive writing that will immerse a reader. Of course, no rule is hard and fast. But before you break a rule, you need to know the rule and understand its purpose.
I see this pop up quite often on this sub where people say if you use 'was' it makes something passive. Where does this come from? It's the past tense of the verb 'to be'.
please don't use that sentence as a guideline for how beautiful prose looks like! neither should you use the classics for what it looks like. there's a lot of Actual Beautiful Prose. go look at "Solarium" by Shaelin Bishop if you want one example with a short story! Not too excessive, has beautiful prose, and describes emotion in such an evocative way. well-written and not boring. It's show-not-tell-ish without being annoyingly so. most amazingly, barely anything Actually happens physically within the story. it's all beautiful emotion <3
I see things differently. If I’ve already scared the reader, describing the viewpoint character’s fear in luscious detail is pointless. If my action scares the viewpoint character but not the reader, I’m probably doing things in the wrong order.
I think we all have plenty to learn from each other. Most of all, kindness. Take what resonates with you and leave the rest. Take care, and thanks again for sharing your thoughts. It’s a brave thing to do.
Honestly that floored me. The entirety of that sentence was god-awful. Hideous, lurid detail like that is often enough to make me put a book down in the first couple of pages.
Yeah, and I don't think "hunted" and "quickly reached" convey the same information.
I've scratched my head all day trying to figure out what's being conveyed in that sentence. Among my many questions is this: What is "stealthy slime"?
Have you worked with any successful authors?
That is "debatable", haha. I can always go into more details, if you wish to know.
Not to be rude but some of your grammar leads me to doubt your bonafides as an editor
It’s just a reddit post, dude. I used to have to write documentation and copy that was perfectly edited in my career but you don’t see me doing my professional editing pass on my interwebs comments lol
I have no excuse for that.
For the 5th point:
Hmm, I’ve seen this kind of arguments over and over again. If you can write characters, dialogue, description, world building, and story like JK Rowling, then of course, too many adverbs won’t matter, even though JK Rowling herself has expressed regret for using too many of them.
Just because something sells well does not mean it is well written. The advice OP provides is a good place to start for a writer who is still learning to create descriptive writing that will immerse a reader. Of course, no rule is hard and fast. But before you break a rule, you need to know the rule and understand its purpose.
I took away many helpful gems from this. Thank you for taking the time to share!
Thank you.
"He was scared" is not passive. "Fear was felt by him" is passive. If you meant passive in a "not engaging" way, then I disagree.
I see this pop up quite often on this sub where people say if you use 'was' it makes something passive. Where does this come from? It's the past tense of the verb 'to be'.
I’m not trying to be a negative Nancy but this is very
There are a couple of helpful tips that I haven't read otherwise, so thank you for that!
please don't use that sentence as a guideline for how beautiful prose looks like! neither should you use the classics for what it looks like. there's a lot of Actual Beautiful Prose. go look at "Solarium" by Shaelin Bishop if you want one example with a short story! Not too excessive, has beautiful prose, and describes emotion in such an evocative way. well-written and not boring. It's show-not-tell-ish without being annoyingly so. most amazingly, barely anything Actually happens physically within the story. it's all beautiful emotion <3
I see things differently. If I’ve already scared the reader, describing the viewpoint character’s fear in luscious detail is pointless. If my action scares the viewpoint character but not the reader, I’m probably doing things in the wrong order.
Just so you know, i am totally saving this. Really helpful info!
Thanks for the advice!
Thank you.
I just want to say I appreciate all the feedback. Both the compliments and the critique.
I think we all have plenty to learn from each other. Most of all, kindness. Take what resonates with you and leave the rest. Take care, and thanks again for sharing your thoughts. It’s a brave thing to do.